This is your story Timothy Justice. A story of love & a testimony of God's goodness!
On August 28, 2017 I awoke early to get ready for your induction, filled with so many emotions. Excitement, nervousness, gratefulness, anticipation, wonder and even a bit of sadness knowing this chapter of my life was coming to an end. It's very odd to know you'll hold your son before the day ends. But how long would it take? Would all go well? Did I have enough strength?
So many unknowns. I wrote this after snapping this picture with my phone:
"40 weeks 6 days. today will be your birthday Timothy cause I'm kicking you out. so excited to meet you & so ready to be over the pain it will require. the life of a mama is never easy but I think that's what makes the good moments so sweet. I'm thankful that in the midst of unknowns, God holds us both in His hands."
These words were wonderful to meditate on as we drove to the hospital (a friend texted them to me):
"The Lord is their strength, and He is the saving refuge of His anointed.
Save Your people, and bless Your inheritance;
Shepherd them also, and bear them up forever." (Psalm 28:8-9)
We arrived at the hospital at 8:10am and I was checked 20 minutes later, learning I was between 1.5-2cm. Not nearly as far along as I wanted to be. Admissions had to come in & there were lots of questions to answer for the nurses plus blood to give but at my Pitocin was finally started at 9:30am. They started me on level 2 and returned at 10:30am to increase my level to 4 & then at 11:15am to move my level to 6. During the time in between, I wasn't allowed to leave the bed because the doctor had ordered continual monitoring. But I couldn't complain- no pain till level 6 and even then, it was mild. Daddy and I chatted a bit but mostly I closed my eyes & breathed calmly. Calm body and mind = less pain. Plus, then I wasn't tempted to watch the clock tick by ever so slowly.
I asked to use the restroom mostly because I wanted to MOVE. (Gravity works splendidly for labor.) I felt a very strong contraction but just stayed a bit longer in the bathroom. I was in no hurry to get back in that bed! Once there, I noticed my legs kept shaking- a clear sign I'm in transition! My water broke at 11:30am and when the nurse asked to check me, I was dilated to number 8! I urged her to call the doctor but daddy said he doubted he would make it in time, as he had to come from another hospital (which is close but still not as close as if he were there!). The nurse seemed a bit stressed out and left the room, telling me to call her if I felt pressure. WHAAA??? Daddy & I both wondered if we would be alone to deliver you.
I had two strong contractions where I needed your Daddy's hand and lots of breathing. I had Daddy go get the nurses while I breathed through a few contractions. Maybe I'd be alone to deliver you. Thankfully, Daddy and the nurse returned, saying the doctor was coming. I said it was so hard to not push and then I just couldn't not push. Our nurse frantically called on the phone for help (we learned later she had never delivered a baby & the other doctor on call was in a c-section during your birth), saying "He's crowning. He's crowning BIG!" Three more nurses came and I asked Daddy to do something I've never done in all my births. I asked him to lay the bed flat, hoping that it would slow your arrival so the doctor could make it but no, you came at 12pm after just a few pushes. You were pink and screaming and oh, so perfect! Then doctor came in.
You weighed 8 pounds, 4 ounces and were 20.5 inches long (our shortest baby). Daddy texted Patricia and told her you were 28 inches! She got a measuring tape out and after checking, texted back that couldn't be correct. We were excited you had hair, though it wasn't red.
We spent 2.5 hours (the same amount of your labor) waiting to go to our room. You nursed off and on, looking around and wide awake the entire time. Any time someone touched you or moved you away from me, you screamed. We spent one day at the hospital, leaving the next night. I was so glad to go home where I could rest! Except for one two-hour stretch, we had someone come into our room every single hour we were at the hospital. It was exhausting!
Also... the hospital was old. The practices & policies felt old, especially in the postpartum care. And yet, they do water births. It's odd. But it also looked old. Oh, and you spent almost your entire first day without clothing on because the hospital had run out of newborn clothing. Whaaa? Thankfully, Papa & Nanny came by and brought you a gift. (Our doctor & midwives had to switch to this hospital just within the last few months. I sure hope they find somewhere else to settle!)
Your Name: we've had the name Timothy waiting in the wings for some time. It means to honor God and this our deepest desire for you. We pray that your life would bring God honor & glory! Your middle name, Justice, came about because I had been meditating on Micah 6:8 for some time when we got pregnant with you. I prayed this verse for you most days of your pregnancy:
"He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?"
I thought about giving you all three attributes (justice, mercy & humility) as a middle name but Daddy thought it was a little much.