a week of mama

Once again, Heather Robinson encouraged her alumni students to get in front of the camera for another "week of mama" project. (We did this back in March & I shared it here too. Just click the tag at the end of this post.) Capturing me in our family story is important because I was there too.... but so often forget to document that. Heather's class, Family Historian, helped me to link my photography with writing. It's helped me share my heart with my children and provide a way to leave a legacy for future generations.

Here's November's "a week of mama:"

DSC_2622-Edit.jpg

day 1: I'm fiercely protective of guarding your childhood, of giving you time to be a kid, be outside, time to enter the world of imagination, to build relationships with your siblings & time to create. it's not easy- it seems like so much presses in & grabs for our time, especially as you grow older. many of those things are good but so is this. so I pray for wisdom & reevaluate, making room in our busy schedule for childhood. so while your brothers were being their crazy, loud selves, I made sure you had time today to feed your soul & create. 

DSC_2673-Edit.jpg

day 2: my, you're good for my soul! people often comment how much you're like me & while that may be true, I think you've got a lot your Daddy in you. you both share a love for sci-fi & fantasy. (can you see me crinkling my face into icky shapes as I write that?) you both love discussing politics& cultural happenings. but your quirky personality is all you're own. wherever it came from, I'm grateful because I needed a laugh today. and we both needed the coffee after I was gone for majority of the day with appointments while you held down the fort at home with the littles. the wisdom & kindness you possess at such a young age... well, I hope it can be said that I'm like you!

DSC_2690-Edit.jpg

day 3: today was hard. I was far from being the mama I wanted to be, no where close to being the one you needed. you were not innocent but it doesn't matter... in fact, because of that, my love should have poured out all the more. and that's why it shook me to the core when I didn't show you kindness & patience. I had to flee to this spot- the only place I could find in a busy house where I could be alone to cry & pray. I needed to pour out my heart to my Savior before I could pour it out to you. because no matter what, I will always come to you & be honest about my own faults. I will always ask for forgiveness before expecting you to do the same. we can cling to Christ together! because that's the mama I want to be & exactly the one you need.

DSC_2856-Edit.jpg

day 4: almost two hours past dinner time, your daddy & I finally snuck out for a date. I always try to actually do my hair because he likes it when I wear it down. we both look forward to our weekly date! it's rarely fancy but this mama's heart needs this time just with him. making our relationship a priority isn't always easy & there's seasons when it's near impossible to have time for just the two of us. that's okay- it's the reality of living a full life with all of you. but focusing on just us helps us focus on all of you. you all don't quite understand that yet- you wonder why we're leaving you behind & sometimes you older ones buck at having to care for the littles. but I promise I still love all of you... I just don't have to be with you 24/7 to show it. 

DSC_2871-Edit.jpg

day 5: I love how the holidays get me in the kitchen more with all of you! these days, I've become more if a ringleader where household chores are concerned, including some of the cooking. it feels like a circus with all the hustle & bustle of running this house so I'm grateful for moments like this to slow down & gather all you littles to bake with me.  truth be told, I didn't always love cooking with lots of littles- it had to grow on me through the years. I had to learn to smile at the mess & craziness. knowing all the workload no longer falls solely on my shoulders helps. so, thanks!

DSC_2921.jpg

day 6: oh, I love smooching your face! it hasn't always been easy for me to slow down & savor what's in front of me. I think for a long time, I thought in order to do that, I first needed everything in order & checked off. I thought quiet equaled peace. but here's the thing, life keeps going & a mama's job is never accomplished- the next thing is always waiting. it's a blessing to have all those things to do even though there tension from a fallen world. all these tasks are the fruit of a full life lived with all of you & I've learned peace is a matter of my heart, not the volume level in this house. but it's also a blessing to let it all go & just be. with you... and usually several other children running around being loud, which was the reality outside this photo. that's okay- I'll just breath you in for a bit longer.

DSC_2942-Edit.jpg

day 7: teaching each of you to read is one of the highlights of my life. each of you have learned at various speeds & ages. one of you truly struggled & took years to learn- we both shed a lot of tears along the way. I still get choked up when I hear you reading aloud & I expect I'll still do that when I'm old & gray. I often tell you all that I want to be the grandmother who comes over with a bag stuffed to brim to read aloud to my grandchildren. what fun that will be! maybe I can take some pictures too. and I definitely hope I'm still getting in front of the frame with you all!